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Anger Management...

Angry Recently a friend of mine informed me that I had serious anger issues, so I've been doing some research and applying anger management techniques on myself. I've not noticed a change yet, but I just started, so it will take a while I guess.

People that are close to me know that when I get mad at someone, their height, muscular build, and stature does not matter, for I loose all common sense and become enraged, which is dangerous for me and them. I've not always had anger problems, but after years of taking crap from everybody, it finally surfaced. Like the movie Anger Management, I also believe that there are two kinds of people in this world, quiet cashiers and raging customers.

Also, I want to appoligize for going on and on about the immigration bullshit. I was really mad that day, and expressed it in my post, and for that I'm sorry. Two of my good friends at work are Hispanic, and I love them dearly, and wouldn't ever want to do anything to hurt their feelings. However, I do still express my aggravation with the whole illegal immigrants getting a free pass spill. I have no problem with those that are legal, only the illegals.

Anyhow, Here is seven steps to hopefully resolve Anger.

  • 1. Choose constructive (not destructive) methods/solutions/ideas.
    • Try physical outlets, e.g. exercise, housework, crafts, etc.
    • Problem solve and come up with action plans, e.g. forming a neighborhood watch to combat vandalism.

  • 2. Involve an objective third party. Ask someone you trust to be a sounding board. Who might this be?
  • 3. Use the "empty chair" exercise. Pretend you're sitting across from the person you are angry with and say what's on your mind. Who is this person?
  • 4. Writing a letter to the person you are angry with. You could describe your anger right now, at the time of the anger event or both. You can destroy it/you can save it/you can mail it at a later date.
  • 5. Use relaxation techniques, e.g. guided imagery, self-help tapes, music.
  • 6. Use positive self-talk, e.g. "I am able to choose my anger style." and "I am angry but I'm not going to let it..."
  • 7. Work towards anger resolution through acceptance (learning to live with the fact that certain people and situations, past, and present & future, will not change).
  • Make realistic expectations, e.g. What is one frustrating anger situation? Can it really change as you'd like it to in the near future?
  • If not...
    • realize the powerlessness over the situation.
    • give yourself a time limit to be angry, and then... let it go!
    • constantly remind yourself "I cannot afford to stay angry. What's at stake here?"
    • recognize the need for forgiveness. "No painful event is allowed to contribute to my anger more than one time."
    • focus on the present.