CRANBURY, N.J. — With sweat pouring down his face, a 42-year-old courier from Moonachie methodically gobbled 22 hot dogs in 12 minutes Friday to win a regional hot-eating competition and a slot at Nathan's Famous Fourth of July eating contest in Coney Island, N.Y.

Pat Philbin, known in the competitive eating circuit as "Pat from Moonachie," beat 12 veterans and newcomers to competitive eating to be crowned the New Jersey Turnpike Regional Hot-Dog Eating Champion at a highway rest area.

"Eating is a natural thing," said Philbin, who stands 6-feet-2 and weighs 310 pounds. "People want to see how fast you can run, how high you can jump, how much you can eat. It's the evolution of sport."

Sleep tight America. There is no starvation, fighting, crying, sorrow, and no war. Yeah Right... Sleep tight in those warm lies, that the government provides you. Stay drugged up and asleep, for the world will just pass you by.

Perhaps that was a bit much. Since I have returned, I can't help but notice the drowsiness of America, while everyone I met in Ireland and Northern Ireland was filled to the brim with life. I know I've been in a depressing mood since I got back to America, but I can't help it, I miss the culture and the vibrant people. People that yearn to learn about life, in all of its instances. My heart is troubled, for everything I see is a disgrace to past generations, that worked so hard to make America a great country.

I hope this bloke had a grand time eating all of those hot dogs...